I CRIED...

I attended my first weekly SFC household in a very very long time.  I always made the excuse that pharmacy tech night school just left no openings for household. But last night after my class, i went to household at 9pm.

Ate very good food and delicious cake!! Everyone said i had lost weight...probably cuz i hadn't attended household in awhile. haha j/k

The final song of worship made me tear and the words really touched me!! =D

I love you Lord and I lift my voice

To worship you, O my soul....Rejoice.

Take joy my King, in what you  hear

May it be a sweet, sweet sound in your ear.

Praise be to God, our Father, Almighty!!! =D

Research shows...

MEN'S FEARS                                               WOMEN'S FEARS

1) being physically inadequate                 1) being cut off from loved ones

2) showing emotion                                 2) being unattractive

3) powerful women (ha!)                         3) being a victim to violence

4) being intellectually inferior               4) displeasing others

5) being a failure                                  5) failing in a relationship

                       REGARDING PROBLEM RESOLUTIONS

Men complain that women talk but don't take action and they see themselves as problem solvers.

Women view talking about problems as an opportunity to foster a sense of sharing.  Women want the response "I understand" when discussing problems.  They also resent men giving resolutions.

IRONY...

Men feel the relationship is NOT working if they have to talk about the problem.

Women feel the relationship IS working if they can talk about the problem.

Past is Past sa ating dalawa!

Okay, in light of the whole accident ordeal...

so many good things have happened already.

My Epiphany:

In all honesty, I had made many mistakes before the accident.  I still felt like the 14 yr. old asking mommy and daddy for permission to do anything.  It's no wonder then, at 23 I'm still being treated like I'm 14. At 14, the answer to everything was always, "NO!" (no makeup, no boys, no dating) At 23, I still have this weird fear that the answer is going to be NO!, when it's always been YES! for the last couple of years.

I felt as if I had to be the perfect sibling...getting my degree, never tried drugs, only a little alcohol after age 21, never smoked a cigarette, and no one-on-one dating of on-and-off boyfriend (only group dates).  Just concentrate on my number one priority, school.

So for those that know my past mistakes or fell witness to my lies...I'm truly truly sorry.  But somewhere down the road of adolescence, I took a wrong turn and thanks to God, I've found my way back.

Oh, those 2 good things that have happened so far....

1) No more lying to my parents!! (This may seem hard for a Filipino-female-teenager-with-strict-parents to comprehend but it can be done.)

2) I have my ate _ _ _ _ _ back!  I'm such a gitty girl!! i LOVE my makeup mentor! There were times when I couldn't help but cry and reminisce of times when I was young, but I'm not a kid anymore.  But some days, I sit and wish I was a kid again.

It's as if God has lifted this extremely heavy burden off my shoulders and all it took was a quarter-sized bald spot on the top of my head. =D

Open the Eyes of my Heart Lord

Friday, March 31, 2006 5:30pm

On route to mi casa from Crab Pot in Long Beach, I get into the scariest accident of my life (granted I've been in 3 in the past year).  On a downslope on the 210 fwy before the 118 junction, a pick-up truck to my left cuts me off.  Under rainy conditions, my dumb-butt hits the brake fast and hard and swirves the steering wheel to the right in order to avoid a collision.  My car loses control, hits the pickup truck on his right side, and swirves off to the right towards the grassy uphill slope.  As soon as my car hits the hill, it turns over doing a full 360 degree flip, landing back on its tires but facing oncoming traffic.  As soon as the car stops, I'm suddenly overwhelmed with the idea that my car will explode.  So I try to get out but the door is bent in and jammed.  I then crawl out of the broken window.  I walk alongside of the freeway to get a few feet away from my car, but as the blood flows from my head to my waist, I feel light-headed and lie down on the ground.  Many people stop and cover me with blankets to shield me from the rain.  Others bring first aid kits to stop my head from bleeding. 

The entire time I'm awake to witness every second.  I pushed up on the roof of my car to brace myself when the car was in motion.  The top of the window dents into my head as the car flips over and pieces of glass get embedded in the top of my head.  I suffer a small fracture on my right hand.  At 9pm, no one has contacted my parents or anyone about my accident.  Suddenly the nurse hands me the phone.  It's Carlo, histerical and crying, worried to death about what happened. He had been driving up the 210 fwy looking for me. He finally thought to call 911 and CHP had told him about my accident and which hospital I was taken to.  While the nurse tries gently to pick the broken glass from my head, I ask her to call my parents.  Ivan, Carlo and Erwin finally arrive. I know they were trying to be strong for me by cracking jokes and letting me know that it wasn't that bad.

The next day, my friends come and visit me.  And me being my usual self, I was cracking jokes about the accident and having an upbeat attitude about the whole incident.

The following day, I received a surprise visit from Tito Custer, Tita Tess, Tita Marissa K., Tito Philip, and Tita Cecille.  They had just finished a HH and came over to pray over me for the accident and for the many accidents I had been in in the past. It was different when my friends came to visit because they acted as if everything was normal and laughed and joked about random things.

I was so overwhelmed with so many emotions.    When they all said they wanted to pray over me, I was touched, ashamed, sad, scared, happy, just speechless.  The tears wouldn't stop coming.  I felt as if I was being prayed over for the very first time.  As I write about this now, I can't help but cry because my accident was extremely scary and it didn't hit me until then how serious it really was.  But not only that.  Just to know that my Titos and Titas cared enough about me to come and ask for God's blessing to come upon me.  I can't describe how it made me feel.  Thoughts of the past came rushing at me and I realized how different my life was now.  I wanted so bad to just stay in their safe circle, linger in their warm embraces, and be caressed while messages of comfort were whispered softly in my ear. 

God truly saved me this past Friday and He opened my eyes to a world that I so fondly remember and so sadly miss very much...and that is COMMUNITY, COUPLES FOR CHRIST, YOUTH FOR CHRIST, SINGLES FOR CHRIST.  When all is said and done...it all comes down to going back to my roots.  A life deeply rooted in prayer, devotion, and love for my Lord and Savior.  Forgive me Lord because it took a nearly fatal accident to open the eyes of my heart to you.

Wow I've been MIA on this thing for  a long while.  Life has just been too good to me in 2006. Let's see...I rang in the New Year with my family, my relatives, and my boyfriend and his family in the warm weather of the Philippines, then spent an amazing 4-day, 3-night stay in Boracay with the fam, the bf and his fam.  Start of Spring semester at CSUN and last semester of Pharm-Tech training.

Fast forward to this month, so many of my family and friends are March babies. HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ALL!

3/2 Erwin's bday

3/3 Kristel Mae's bday

3/5 JP's bday

3/6 Felizabeth and Ate Winnie's bday

3/7 Mikeyzee's bday

3/8 Mark Dingle's bday

3/11 Junel's bday

3/12 Ret's bday

3/15 Boba's bday

3/17 Pat, Baby Trisha, Madet, and Roxy's bday

3/18 Monie's bday

3/19 Celisha's bday

3/22 Lawrence's bday ( Seattle, WA)

3/24 Tracy and Ate Ma-Anne's bday

3/28 Ate Crisa's bday

3/30 Nicola and Ate Odessa's bday

Right now, my main focus is to keep my grades in all classes at A's although my Biochemistry grade is slipping to a mid-B.  The next set of exams are crucial.  2 more months and I will officially be a certified pharmacy technician with the appropriate credentials...Lerissa Anne Reyes, CPhT.  Hey, it beats Bra Specialist!

I have alot to accomplish in 2006 and so much to prep for.  Pharmacy School apps are going out this summer!! Pray for me please!

Robertson Honda is a chill place to work for a receptionist and I'm enjoying it alot...free food and gas expense for the week aside from my hourly wage.  It's a dream job for someone only available to work weekends.  And the pay more than compensates for the 40 hours I used to put in at Victoria's Secret on my feet.

Well, that's my life in a nutshell.  Oh and Carlo...we're doing good. =D School has just kept us both so preoccupied that we miss each other and are extremely loveydovey on the phone.  But our one date a week hanging out with friends is sacrifice for our future.  By future, we're talking a good 5 years still...but I can't help but gain motivation and determination from daydreams of my future life after having reached my goals.  Like the saying goes, "Only time will tell." 

My favorite songs for the moment are Banana Pancakes and Better Together, both by Jack Johnson. (makes me miss Hawaii and warm weather in general)